It has been this long since you left us. It was a Wednesday night. Because I wanted to bake biscotti for some friends, I failed to find the time to visit you that afternoon. And I live to regret that decision for putting my own needs over yours. If I weren’t so preoccupied, I wouldn’t have missed the call from the vet’s. And could have managed to see you for the last time. More importantly, you could have had passed on knowing that we did not abandon you at the hospital. I have lived with this guilt for a very long time. I am truly sorry, Sugar. Please forgive me. And please know that you were very loved, and that we all still miss you very much.
The other day we brought Paris and Belle for your auntie’s wedding photoshoot. It was such a nerve-wrecking experience because unlike you, these two are not very gentle and completely unpredictable. While they were unexpectedly on very good behaviour, I was left wondering how beautiful the pictures would have turned out if you were there instead. Paris is too tall, and Belle too short. Of the three, you had the best proportions. And the sweetest smile.
Do you remember Wester? He has been diagnosed with prostate tumour. The vet cut him up, but ruled that it was inoperable. So they closed him up again without doing anything. He can’t walk anymore but he is at least going home to spend his last days with his family. You never had the chance to although I know you wanted very much for me to bring you home to die. I was optimistic. If I had known, I would have brought you home in a heartbeat instead of leaving you in the cold, foreign place that you didn’t like. Wester’s family is fortunate in that they will have some time to say their goodbyes but given a choice, I don’t think I would have wanted you to be in so much pain. Let’s keep Wester in our prayers.
They say that the first dog is always the most special. I now know it is the truth. Thank you for having been part of my life.